


Tsukikage.

by Yui_Miyamoto



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Cross-Posted on LiveJournal, F/M, M/M, Multi, siblings pairing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-04-28
Updated: 2004-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-13 10:15:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29524875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yui_Miyamoto/pseuds/Yui_Miyamoto
Summary: The theme of “moonlight” is described through the relationships of my favorite couples in this series. ^_^
Relationships: Bankotsu/Jakotsu (InuYasha), InuYasha/Kikyou (InuYasha), Kohaku/Naraku (InuYasha), Rin/Sesshoumaru (InuYasha), Sesshoumaru/Inuyasha





	1. Bankotsu and Jakotsu - afureru. (overflowing.)

**Disclaimer: Inuyasha isn’t mine.  
  
**  
He stared at the ocean before him. It was as if he had reached the end of the world even though he knew that he was just on a little island in some part of the world, and who knew what else was he apart of.  
All in all, he knew that he was something small under all the stars in the sky.  
He wanted to reach out to the stars to take them into his arms and burn himself with their beauty and the strength of their mythical power.  
  
He sighed as everyone slept somewhere far away from him, for he had wandered a bit outside of their vicinity. He needed time to think and as he stood there, the wind blew around the contours of his body.  
Despite all the clothing, he felt like he was naked. He was the most vulnerable when he was left alone. Even though he didn’t like to think anything past what he had been given or had been doing, there were times when the itching deep within would not stop.  
  
Did he want someone’s body? Did he want to talk to someone? He didn’t know. All that he knew was that there was something very empty from where he was standing and it was flowing away from him in volumes.  
He knew it was there before, but now it was floating away invisibly.  
  
The wind blew even more and swept up the bottom of his kimono that he had to pat it down. And yet, through the coldness of the wind caressing him, he knew there was something that couldn’t be forgiven.  
  
He knew exactly what he was looking for.  
But would that be the deciding point of his soul?  
  
He had already condemned it with all the blood that washed between his hands so prettily. It flowed just as earnestly as the rivers they crossed together and the crispness of the air around him. So, why was this extra fact a burden to him?  
  
It was a sin that couldn’t be forgiven from any context…  
  
“Even when you’re next to me, I feel the darkness,” he whispered to himself, hoping that the wind would make the words fly towards the ears of the one he wanted most to touch. To touch so far that his heart could feel it boiling through the coolness around them.  
  
The guilt of killing other people became less and less, until it became a way of life. After all, it  
was a challenge, it was fun, it was for Him.  
  
A braided man came into view behind him. It was like a scene from a movie in which there was a close up, the “main character” going through a soliloquy without knowing someone was watching them with such emotion, indistinguishable hate or love. He watched the androgynous man in front of him and closed his eyes a moment.  
Opening them, he sighed silently to himself while taking in the view as if the moon had come in human form. The moon was standing before with such light that it was always blinding him, sleeping or awake.  
  
“What are you doing so far, Jakotsu?” he asked while not taking a step closer. Shaded by the trees, he kept one hand on the trunk of a tree for support. Confusion flowed throughout his body and watching his own brother was overbearing. It was torturous.  
  
Caught off-guard, Jakotsu’s heart jumped outside of him. He always wondered if he made it so obvious that everything he did was influenced by the leader of the group. And yet, he couldn’t ever put it into words because it was embedded within him. How could you describe something that was a part of you like breathing the air?  
His brother’s innocent words disturbed him. They connected and extended from his train of thought. It made his heart twist more and more. He made him so happy with his concern; it killed him that he couldn’t do more.  
  
Funny how two people could feel the same exact thing while denying each other at the same time…  
  
“I needed a walk,” Jakotsu answered as he turned around to watch the face of his brother with a  
smiling, painted face. After all, hadn’t Bakotsu said he looked best while smiling?  
Then, he turned around to watch the ocean before him.  
He couldn’t hold that face for long and he was worried about how long he could keep this up. He could only do this in doses and left the group in short intervals, disguised by the pretense of “training on the side”.  
  
Knowing that Jakotsu wouldn’t move from his place, Bakotsu forced himself to push his body off the tree and walk over to Jakotsu. However, he didn’t stand beside him. Quietly and slowly, he was taking in the sight before him.  
He found himself standing a few feet behind while feeling that his face was not his own any longer. The strong countenance could hold back the honest concern and affection his eyes always avoided when he was immediately before Jakotsu. What was wrong with him today?  
  
The moon was too close.  
It was pulling him. Raping him of free will.  
  
“Did something happen on that last job? You’ve been acting strange,” Bankotsu said with a firm, assertive tone almost betraying the things he couldn’t say about himself and how he was feeling at the very instant.  
  
“I’ve seen a lot of things in my lifetime, but…” Jakotsu’s eyes became concentrated and serious all of a sudden.  
“But?” Bankotsu chose this time to step forward. He reached out his hand towards Jakotsu’s left shoulder.   
He didn’t know if this was opening his own Pandora’s box.  
  
And it made him hot.  
  
Jakotsu’s eyes opened a bit in surprise for he was not used to his brother touching him that sweetly, in such a comforting way. Usually, he hit him upside the head for doing such foolish stuff.  
Then, his eyes softened and he held his hands together with his left hand over his right wrist, restraining himself from touching his brother’s hand.  
  
“There were two boys. One was trying to protect the other.” Then, he smiled to himself, showing his satisfaction at killing them.  
  
He envied them. They could be together until the end.  
  
He couldn’t protect his brother, and nor could he truly be with him the way he loved him so much. It was suffocating him.  
  
“Usually, you aren’t so sentimental.” Bankotsu took his hand away, burned by the touch.  
  
The man who looked like a woman did not answer. He could never answer why he was born this way. He could never answer why he felt this way. Both responses could be justified, and both could be defamed.  
Yet, he strived to live the way he did, despite all the things that people said and believed in their own sense of “justice” and mentalities of “gender” and the definition of “love” or “family”.  
  
Seeing Jakotsu so unsure of himself, Bankotsu did the only thing he thought he could. It was the same as when they were children.  
He embraced him from behind and closed his eyes, as if making a clear wish without words. He slightly smiled and hugged his brother tightly. He whispered in comfort, “I’ll be with you. I’ll always be with you. Isn’t that what you’re worried about?”  
  
Jakotsu leaned his body back a bit on his brother’s, enjoying the support. This was the only time he knew his brother’s affections towards him. This was the only time he understood him, but he was engulfed with the sorrow that this wasn’t the kind of love he wanted from him.  
  
He wanted more. Much, much more…  
  
That’s why he kept on looking for men that were strong and handsome, since he couldn’t have what was in front of him. That’s why he continued to kill people with a smile, a tangible form of passion even though it was a delusion he made for himself.  
  
He nodded his head.  
  
Yes, but that was only part of the problem. It wasn’t that he couldn’t be with him and watch him like he always had. It was that he had to live with this single fact: His brother would always be with him.   
He couldn’t ever get away from him.  
  
And he would love the person in front of him, unable to get through to him.  
  
Unable to make love to him the way he wanted.  
  
And Bankotsu sighed while closing his lips, unable to say more.  
  
He knew this was not the problem at all. “Being there” wasn’t enough. After a short while, the walls of self-constraint would break down. Soon, it wouldn’t be enough for him.  
  
Like his obsessive nature, he had to have everything.  
He wanted everything even though it was destructive and cancerous to the soul.  
  
He was Bankotsu, after all. He could do anything.  
He shouldn’t have to be held by the laws of nature or humans.  
  
Somehow, he was going to find a way to erase the word of “brother” from both of their minds.  
  
It was then that Jakotsu recited a poem written by his first victim,  
“Wasn’t it ironic  
that their happiness  
was the cause  
of their worst pain?  
  
Isn’t it wonderful  
that your greatest infliction  
is the reason  
for your overflowing, passionate nature?”  
  
Bankotsu responded inside of his mind, “If this was what it meant to live under the moonlight,  
I want to live under your darkness forever…”  
  
He held him tighter.  
  
Being next to you all the time,  
Being away from you when you’re so close  
  
is driving me insane.  
  
 **Tsuzuku… / To be continued…**


	2. Kikyou and Inuyasha - tsunageru. (to connect.)

** Disclaimer: Inuyasha isn’t Yui’s. She’s just in love with Kappei-sama. **   
  
  
At this hour when the time is deceivingly reset to 0:00 but for a brief passing second, I find myself wanting to embrace the moment for it would never be with me anymore. How sad to think this way, but when you are living eternity in a body that equaled that of a demon, your sense of time is truly distorted.  
  
Youkai are devoid of compassion and feelings all together.  
  
Maybe that is the true sense of power. The ability to be so numb to the killing of humans and other living things is actually a source of strength. Who says that humans are the only ones who can kill everything except their own species? But even with that, humans are even more inhumane.   
  
They kill for self-defense. They kill for power. They kill for weakness.  
  
This is the species I am born into. No, to correct that, I am born with this body that is a replica of a human female. But I am no better than a corpse with an alluring face…  
  
I slip out of my bed and walk down to a small lake with a waterfall. It’s paradise in a dream-like  
reality. Through the shade of the trees, I find the moonlight still trying to come through. It persists with its overpowering beauty, calling out to me like a woman possessed and consumed by grief. I see myself in this goddess that makes people secretly worship behind closed doors.  
As I hear the calling of the wolves, I close my eyes to breath in the air. I am not feeling anything, I am becoming one with everything. Until I am no more. Until there is nothing left.  
  
I am only waiting to die in this eternity of a lifetime.  
  
I open my eyes and slip off the tie of my hair. The wind grazes against me and I feel like dancing. My heart beats to the sounds of the taiko drums that play during Noh and festivals. Slow, fast, fast slow…it cannot make up its mind, an entity entirely separate from its supposed owner.  
  
I find it quite parasitic. Here it takes my nutrients and I cannot use it for any other purpose except to pump blood to keep me alive. I wish the rabbit or the goddess of the moon would spill my blood.  
  
I have already sacrificed myself for nature. What more did it want from me?  
It took away my humanity.  
  
I am the guardian of this Jewel of Four Souls. It is the greatest and most powerful thing in the world and logically, I should be more powerful that gods, demons, and humans. And yet I am not.  
  
I am subjected to its weight. Why does this jewel look like the smaller version of the moon if it were perfect in shape?  
  
I take off my clothes and don’t care to fold them.  
Why must this being called Kikyou be so proper all the time?  
  
It’s funny. When I think of myself, when I really do, I think of myself in the third-person. Why? It is another way of distancing myself.  
To become unfeeling, to become unrelenting, to become more than a god or demon, to become less than human…  
  
Doing this alone, I am already “wrong”. I simply want to make a “mistake”. I want to give away my responsibilities and let them see that the responsibility for the village and this jewel isn’t mine alone. Because you deem it as so, I am all alone.  
  
No one will protect me.  
I can only protect myself.  
  
Sometimes, I don’t want to. Other times, I feel I can’t.  
  
And little by little, like the Shikon Jewel, my perfect shape becomes chipped. Chipped until I am  
like the moon, sculpted in a strange type of aestheticism that isn’t natural. And yet it, it is still termed as so.  
Maybe that was how the moon was born…  
  
The leaves rustle and as I wash myself, I am not offended like ordinary women who are ashamed so easily. I turn my head and my bare back faces him.  
“What are you doing here?” I ask as he continues to sit on the tree and watches me with such curiosity that I don’t know if I should be offended by his prying eyes or flattered by his attention.  
  
He is my sin incarnate.  
And my heart collapses within itself, paralleling the shape of the moon.  
  
I am chipping myself away and he holds the carving tools.  
  
I have heard how he thinks of me, but his eyes betray his honesty.  
  
“Hardly anyone comes here and I was sleeping nearby,” he says as if to play it off.  
  
I know he is there. I can always feel him around me even when I can’t see him. Like the sun, you know it’s coming to light the day after the night leaves.    
He is this way to me too.  
  
The dog-eared teenager does not come towards me and I am quieter than ever. The dirt of my thoughts seep through the pores of my skin and flow away into the water.  
  
You may think that I am an unfeeling woman, but who is more human when you can’t feel? You may be a hanyou, but you are able to let yourself feel emotions. You can do anything with them.  
And you take it so much for granted. I am angry with you for that, Inuyasha.  
  
I turn around and slowly walk towards him. His body is leaning on the branch, so close that I can touch him, with the moon shining behind him so brilliantly.  
  
My eyes can’t seem to look away.  
Don’t you know about my own emotions? I locked mine so far within I’ve forgotten what they were. I thought they were lost, but deep inside, they were just dormant. They were there all this time.  
  
I know this now because when you’re near me, I can’t seem to help but cry and scream deep within my soul.  
  
I touch his face as my eyes half-close as if I were continuing this demented reverie. He watches me with a concentrated look.    
“What are you doing?” His ears perk up in alarm.   
  
But I close my eyes and shake my head in silence. Opening my eyes, I silently tell him, “Just enjoy the moment. Let me touch you for once.”  
  
I look into that face with the light of the moon shining upon him, as if he were chosen. Yes, chosen for me. I know he is.  
  
He knows this. And somewhere deep inside, he is honored and arrogant about it.  
  
My feelings are rushing out of me in fits of warmth upon touching his face. My feelings want to come out through my eyes. I want to kiss him as I run my fingers through his hair, which is hanging in mid-air.  
  
Is that how it is when you cry? You were losing a part of yourself? You gave a part of yourself that was so preciously protected?  
  
So then, let me be your light. Or, can you be the light in the darkness that I dwell in?  
  
Where is this dream coming from? Where is it going? Why am I so attached to you?  
Why do I love you so much that I want to become one with you, never leaving you?  
  
Mesmerized, he keeps on staring at me. He knows I am a doll stuck in this body of a “pure” priestess. He knows I am fighting the chaos within, and all the more when I am silent.  
  
Instead of protecting myself, he saves me from my “mistake”. He puts his hand over one of my own and leans forward to kiss me. He kisses me even more, as if he is eating fruit from the gods and demons of our land.  
  
So full of knowledge, so hungrily.  
  
He is saying, “I’m sorry” and “You are more human than anyone can ever see.”  
Underlying all this, I feel him telling me, “I don’t understand and yet I do.”  
  
It is not his fault that I am this way, but only he knows what it means to be treated very badly for looking like a youkai. It is not my fault that he is this way, but only I know what it means to be treated so well for impersonating a strong human priestess.  
  
Now, I understand that when we are together and when we are alone,   
  
He is the moonlight, the light of the darkness.   
And I am the moon, enwrapped by him,    
  
Rather than him to me.  
  
Little by little, I will be scraped away, but the moonlight will remain.  
You and I are wasting away so easily, wastefully, and slowly…  
  
“Human” doesn’t always mean the ability to feel. You have to become its antithesis to understand, to fall in love with it, to fully embrace it.  
  
That’s why everyone loves the moon. Everyone reaches for it with all their wishes.  
But they can never truly have it. It is a sick unrequited affection and love.  
  
And that is why the moon and I are alike: Bound to the people and nature…   
  
Beautifully trapped in between reality and dreams and living.  
Destined never to touch one another, lest they bring upon their own destruction.  
  
Ironically, it is that…and the night can only live for so long until it dies,   
and reincarnates to die by the next dawn,    
  
repeating this sorrowful existence until the end of time.   
  
**Tsuzuki…/ To be continued…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that it is strange. Why would I do this chapter in first person perspective? Isn’t this Inuyasha’s show anyway? Shouldn’t we get his perspective? Well, all I can say is that I couldn’t help but think of just doing it from Kikyou’s perspective. It just felt right to do so since you never get to really see how she thinks. Specifically, I wanted to capture the intensity of her relationship with Inuyasha before they both “died”.  
> I know these pieces are very romantic in nature, but they’re quite complicated to make with all the layers I’m trying to embed while giving each person a different feel and writing style.


	3. Sesshomaru and Inuyasha - The right to you.

** Disclaimer: Yui doesn’t own Inuyasha. It belongs to the awesome Takahashi Rumiko-sama!  
Out of deep appreciation, I’m borrowing her characters temporarily. **   
  
  
“You dropped this,” the man in white said to the little boy with dog ears.  
He handed over a fang, whose string had loosened and thus the necklace fell to the ground. He smirked at the child and the child looked at him curiously, almost confused about why a youkai of all things was being kind to him.  
“Thank you, Onii-san,” the little boy said as he accepted the fang back into his hands.  
For a second, the man with the moon on his forehead watched the boy’s bright face.   
  
“I’ll be waiting for you,” he said and turned around to leave.  
  
“Huh?” the boy asked as he stood there watching the figure become smaller and smaller before him. “Why would you do that?”  
  
The boy forgot, but the man burned the memory into his head…   
  


** Chapter 3 / Sesshomaru and Inuyasha - The right to you. **   
  
It shouldn’t have been this way. Why did it turn out this way?  
  
“You’re an idiot, that’s why,” I mumbled quietly to myself as the rustling of the leaves communicated to me that the silence of the moment would be disturbed in a few hours.  
As for myself, I thought it was foolish on my part to go back to the scene of the crime. I wondered while running through the multitudes of trees of the reason why I needed to come to the place where that disgusting being seemed to reside in.  
“Reside?” I smirked to myself. “You were caught within your own demise.”  
  
Humans were worst than youkai. It’s just the youkai were stronger than the humans that that  
despicable species thought _we_ were the barbarians. But when you thought of these senseless wars in both realms, I wondered who was more youkai and more human.  
  
Maybe they were no different. I would be insulting my own intelligence if I thought this way, though.  
  
It was the end of the war and I was at the other end of this desiccated island. I should have just roamed around as I always had, looking for a challenge to make myself stronger. And yet, I couldn’t find myself doing that just yet.  
  
I had to make sure that the word was true. I had to see it with my own eyes.  
  
I didn’t trust anyone and words were only convoluted pieces of perceptions.  
Probably that was why I didn’t like to talk. Words got in the way. They always got in the way of the true message.  
  
That’s why I enjoyed dueling with him. He talked a lot, but his eyes…  
…they weren’t normal. They were intense and beyond the realm of anything youkai or human combined.  
  
And we were different parts of our father’s spectrum.  
The calm coldness was mine while his was the hot-blooded passionate nature.  
  
If you were an idiot, then why was I coming to see you?  
I didn’t know why, but like the gravitational force of insanity on the part of the quiet, unseen moon, I was forced to comply.  
  
There was no moon out tonight and so the darkness was spread throughout the land. It was like a blanket that almost wanted to make me blind, but I couldn’t be defeated by such trivial things. I kept on going the way I knew.  
  
And about a few hours after midnight, the leaves crunched under my feet. And the world became even more silent. I took a deep breath as I looked at the large God Tree in front of me.  
  
And there he was.  
He was nailed to the tree by that priestess’s holy arrow.  
  
My eyes squinted in disapproval as I gazed at that arrow with so much hate. I almost wanted to break it with my own hands, but it was of no use. I was not the caster of this spell.  
  
How could you get yourself enchanted by this human woman?  
  
With even more resentment, I lifted up my chin and my lips became even more pursed. My teeth chewed on some of the skin of my mouth out of anger.  
  
I took a step closer and sighed a bit.  
I was so glad no one was here to witness my foolishness, so voluntarily might I add…  
  
I remembered the time when the youkai brought word to me about my father’s bastard son from a human woman. I went to visit him to see what was so interesting about him because Father was quite fond of him, even though Inuyasha never knew that.  
My father wanted me to watch over him if he ever died, but I refused. But Father never knew that I did visit Inuyasha once in a while.  
  
I was the one guiding him all these years. All those youkai that came to attack and fight him? I was always somehow connected to that. Cruel, yes. But how could he learn if he didn’t rely on himself?  
That was the lesson I wanted to instill in him.  
  
I watched him grow up.  
There were hanyou that died from the pressure and hardships. There were those who would live through them no matter the costs.  
  
I was so fascinated by him. He was becoming the person I imagined he would be. For how could two parts of the same person’s blood running through our veins _not_ call out to one another in some way?  
  
And Inuyasha survived like I knew he would. It was the way I believed he would.    
Yes, I admitted, I believed in this being.  
  
But unlike other hanyou, Inuyasha held a power that didn’t depend on strength or an ability of his youkai blood. It was more than self-reliance or arrogance at exerting his existence.  
No, it was none of that.  
  
I then walked closer and closer to him until I was right before him. Watching the quiet, sleeping face, I shook my head.  
  
I didn’t understand until we first dueled one another.  
Until he battled with me with his claws and I jumped back while looking at those endless eyes that seemed to want to envelop your soul like a snake charmer’s tune. I had found an opponent with such prowess, but those eyes held a passion far beyond comprehension. It held such an intenseness that even I couldn’t find myself breathing while in Inuyasha’s view.  
It distracted me for a split-second. That’s how much strength there was.  
  
So, like this, I would “coincidentally” come to fight with him. Even though he hated me more and more, the more and more I showed how much I abhorred him. But people and demons were always so ready to believe with their eyes and so the truth was hidden.  
  
I hated humans, but there was always a counterexample to every rule: I only had affections for one that was half.  
  
I took a step closer…  
  
I know why you were only enchanted, Inuyasha…  
You weren’t meant to die.  
  
I leaned close to him in my moment of weakness, affected by the absence of the moon.    
And so, as he hung on the tree, I took the forbidden fruit that was so rightfully mine. The moon on my forehead touched his. Taking up his chin, I kissed him…  
  
…because I was the only one who could decide that.  
  
Not her.  
Not the one named Kikyou.  
  
I wasn’t going to hand you over to anyone.  
This was the pride you and I both shared.  
  
I let go of him with my eyes wandering from side to side, faced with the sin I had committed of my own free will. Of course, done with no sense of regret or remorse.  
  
Then, I turned around to leave him once more, believing he would come back one day.  
And I would wait all over again for that chance…  
  
“There was no one like you, Brother. My rival and my equal.  
And you are mine, no one else’s.”  
  
 **Tsuzuku… / To be continued…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heh. Didn’t expect this one coming? Heck me neither! ^^; I just like making fics to mess with my head as well as yours. ^_____^ I just hoped it was convincing. * sighs * It’s messed up, but I like it! ^^v  
> In case you’re wondering, yes Jaken should be with him, but let’s just assume that Sesshomaru-sama is on of his “I didn’t say where I was going” moments. ^^v


	4. Naraku and Kohaku - inseparable.

** Disclaimer: Inuyasha belongs to the SUTEKI na Takahashi Rumiko-sama! ^_^  
(Important note: Hints of shouta.) **   
  
  
“Kohaku. You will be staying with me.”  
  
Naraku had spoken and it almost was like a declaration of war rather than an order with the kind of argumentative tone he spoke in. The white-haired little girl bowed politely to leave. Even though she was supposed to stay with Kohaku, if Naraku said to do something, then she had to comply to the command.  
Thus, she left with no thoughts of protests as she wandered off to whatever she needed to go.  
Closely, she held the bundle in her arms and executed the order she had been given. She wouldn’t be back until the dawn of the next day.  
  
Kohaku stood at the top of the cliff with the sun setting behind him. His hands almost clenched, trying not to show his tension. Being left with Naraku scared him just a little.  
Despite the fact that his mind was blank, his feelings could never be overwritten. They were embedded into him like pieces of sand stuck together to make a piece of glass, and were just as fragile, if not more.  
  
Naraku stood before him with a look of arrogance and slight annoyance. “Well, are you coming or not?” he opened his mouth to voice his inner complaint.  
The boy sighed a little and began to walk.  
  
He was somewhat of a comfort to Naraku. He didn’t know why, but he felt comfortable with him. It wasn’t that he let his defenses down, but the boy was fun to mess around with. He was easy to manipulate, but the little bouts of protests were what he looked forward to in their encounters.  
After all, he enjoyed opposition. It made him feel alive, despite his ever-decaying body rotting as much as the soul that created its existence.  
  
Neither one said a word to one another as they walked on the path to some kind of temporary shelter for the night.  
  
“I should be with her right now,” Kohaku spoke up with an annoyed tone. It was in a voice so intimate that one would never have expected this type of response from a child to the person who held his life.  
“You dare to speak up to me now?” Naraku retorted back with his lips making a thin line on his pallid face.  
“I had no choice, right?” was the boy’s response as he looked at Naraku’s back with eyes wanting to pierce into him with such coldness that you couldn’t believe he was still termed as “human”.  
  
It was something he had learned from Naraku.  
  
“If I spoke up, you would have done something as my ‘punishment’, wouldn’t you?” Kohaku tried to probe him. He was trying to push him.  
  
Naraku knew where this was heading. It was one of the abilities that came so naturally to him that he never had to think about these types of things while planning out strategies. But the boy, he was still too young to understand complexity.  
  
He didn’t care what the boy said.  
  
Crunch, crunch protested the leaves involuntarily as the feet of Naraku and Kohaku crushed them. The crunching became a bit more frequent until it stopped with Kohaku standing in front of Naraku.  
  
Kohaku looked up to the nonchalant eyes that made him so angry inside. And yet he stood there with a calm demeanor, almost as if he’d absorbed some of Naraku’s traits after staying with him for this long.  
And he was STILL alive, that was the feat! After so many failures, he should have been dubbed as useless by now.  
  
“Kohaku, this is ridiculous. Stop it,” Naraku scolded with an unknown tenderness. He easily dismissed the boy by gently touching Kohaku’s shoulder to one side. And he proceeded to walk on.  
  
The boy’s eyes closed a bit. He wasn’t going to cry, but his blood was boiling. What did he have to do to get away from him? He’d tried everything to find some kind of way to run away, but it never worked.  
Naraku would never let him go…  
  
“You don’t need me here,” Kohaku mumbled quietly to himself, swallowing his pride once more.  
  
When they reached a certain cave, Naraku went in with Kohaku behind him. It began to rain outside and so there they were stuck there with the coldness penetrating the air and stinging their skin. Having already eaten dinner before they came to the cave, Kohaku sat at one side of the cave’s entrance, standing guard.  
  
He felt some drips of water poking his body.  
  
It was almost like a painting. There was this frame in the outline of the cave and the rain was falling, but it wasn’t coming inside. It just kept on falling down harder and harder.  
But since they were on a mountain, the rain silently fell down with no echo of it having hit the ground. It was as if things were put on mute all of a sudden.  
And yet there was the rain, with only evidence of it being there when it touched him while he was lost in thought.  
Looking out with one elbow over his right knee, which was bent, he sighed.  
  
Naraku sat against the wall of rock and looked at Kohaku once in a while. With a disgusted face, he tore off the blue cloth of his attire. Then, he threw it at Kohaku’s feet.  
  
Kohaku didn’t bat an eye. He ignored the gesture all together. In fact, he pulled his foot away in an unemotional reflex, not wanting to touch anything of Naraku’s.  
  
“This is pointless and you know it.” He laughed at his own remark. Then, he smirked.  
Inside, he thought, “This cheap protest of yours is only encouragement for me.”  
  
Kohaku said nothing. He was useless already. That’s why he was there, wasn’t it? To escape whatever memories he had inside of him, but had been repressed.  
  
“I’m just running from one nightmare to another,” he thought to himself and continued to watch the rain, not knowing if he wanted to sleep since he couldn’t even close his eyes. They were wide awake.  
  
But inside, he was tired. He was so tired of everything…  
Maybe this was worse than suicide or the face of the woman which was burned into his eyes.  
  
Kohaku smiled and nodded to himself as he glanced at Naraku. “I’m your amusing, personal toy, aren’t I? I’m useless, but for some strange reason, you won’t throw me away. I thought the great Naraku only kept things that were helpful to him.”  
He began to laugh at himself.  
  
He was going to go crazy…  
  
But as Naraku looked into that wonderful face, full of pain and wanting escape, he couldn’t help but feel elated. Yes, Kohaku was his toy, but what a beautiful one.  
  
A boy tainted by death, bound to him by the power of a jewel shard.  
  
It was then that Kohaku took up the cloak with both of his hands. He politely gave it back to Naraku. He stood before him with a questioning look. Too tired to protest, he desperately asked, “Why do you keep me alive?”  
He turned around, calmly saying, “Just take the shard. It will be more useful to you than me.”  
  
But somehow, as he said this, the boy was saddened. He closed his eyes as if he were going to cry.    
It wasn’t out of protest anymore and it wasn’t out of hate. It wasn’t that he was giving up or that he was tired.  
  
It was just the way he felt.  
No good could come from him. That’s what he thought deep inside. How and why was he such a coward despite all the strength he was trying to build up?  
  
The eyes of that woman and the way he served Naraku.    
With this viewpoint, he was worthless all together.  
And yet, he still struggled to live on borrowed time, dependent on a magical spell on a legendary element.  
  
They both were living on a clock that counted backwards…  
  
That was what Naraku enjoyed the most. That’s what he admired.  
Everything around him was decaying. Even Kagura who wanted freedom, could not have understood the full extent of that word.  
  
But Kohaku knew. This boy knew what it meant to live and what it meant to die.  
He wasn’t scared by Naraku as a hanyou or his supposed power, he was afraid of Naraku’s human side. He became weak when he was around him. Kohaku could do anything he wanted and Naraku would let it slip, despite all the appearances they made.  
  
Kohaku didn’t want that.  
He didn’t want to make someone he cared for, even this devil who somehow took care of him in a way, to be deterred of his/her path because of his lack of ability.  
  
And he was cringing inside because he was starting to weaken from deep within himself. Kohaku was starting to become too attached and fond of Naraku. These feelings were deepening with each passing day as much as the woman’s sad face fading a bit with each memory slightly being replaced by the devil that had taken him…  
  
…and was starting to devour his soul along with his heart…  
  
The scary fact was that Kohaku stayed with Naraku of his own free will…  
Neither one could believe it.  
  
Naraku turned him around to face him, insulted by the boy’s command, mad at the boy’s compassion to the cruelty around him. His face became stern.  
  
Kohaku reached out to Naraku and put his cold hands on Naraku’s neck. He looked into those cruel eyes and asked, “No matter what I do…”  
  
Tears started to come out from his blank eyes. They were like raindrops pressing down on a window. His grip became a bit tighter, but Naraku didn’t move, wanting to watch this curious being’s actions.  
“…you won’t let me go.”  
  
“Kohaku, you must understand…” Naraku answered as he clearly looked into Kohaku’s defiant eyes, which held so much starvation for life that he almost couldn’t contain himself. “With detachments, I can choose to expel them and gather only the strongest into my body.”  
  
“What does that have to do with me?” Kohaku innocently questioned as his voice cracked.  
  
Naraku brushed his lips on Kohaku’s neck, which held a mix of sweat and rainwater. Looking out at the rain that mirrored Kohaku’s soul, Naraku whispered into his ear, “Like the moonlight, you can’t tear it away from the moon. They’re treated as different entities at certain times, but they are intertwined.  
Inseparable.”  
  
Now, Kohaku was beginning to understand and it was also at this time he understood why he was given so much freedom in Naraku’s sphere of influence.  
  
“The woman will come to tear me apart someday,” Kohaku whispered back as he pushed back some of Naraku’s long hair from his ear to clearly give his message filled with sadistic satisfaction. “She’ll take me away from you.”  
  
“Ah.” Naraku shook his head, neither agreeing or disagreeing. He thought, “You still do not get it, do you?”  
  
The man smirked, satisfied with the arrangements he had made and embedded into the boy’s mind and soul. “She is already too late. I have poisoned you. You have enjoyed the darkness we have created together.”  
  
You are adult in thought, child in body, soul in between hell and purgatory…  
And so, we are alike, you and I. But you just haven’t truly comprehended it thus far because you are still very young.  
  
An innocence that I value above all your traits.  
  
“Is that right?” Kohaku’s lips almost touched Naraku’s but then he chuckled, teasing him.  
Pulling back, he took Naraku’s cloak and slept comfortably in his lap while holding onto Naraku, unfazed by how unusual Naraku may have appeared to other people and things that gazed at him in horror.  
  
“Hmph,” Naraku said to the sleeping Kohaku while touching the boy’s bangs and pushing them away from his eyes. “Of all the minds I can’t read, yours is the only one I can’t decipher.”  
  
So this…  
This is the true power of this weak species who have been able to succumb even the greatest youkai.  
  
Not even the cruelest  
can overlook or not be touched by  
such kindness.  
  
That’s why I have enjoyed keeping you alive, Kohaku.  
I hold your life, but it’s not your life that you value. You care about whom your life touches so  
selflessly…  
  
Unlike a human. Unlike a youkai.  
  
The earth and moon are connected but the moon acts on its own. It has defined its own rules.  
Like you have…  
  
And so, you shouldn’t have to die under their jurisdictions.  
  
I can’t let you,  
I won’t let you,  
until I still have the power to keep you here   
  
next to me.   
  
  
** Tsuzuku... / To be continued... **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was actually planning for another couple to be here, but it turned out that they would fit better in the end.  
> And so I came to Kohaku and Naraku. It’s so hard to write for these two, but I always enjoy it. They have a very unique relationship that’s so great for fanfic-ing. They add new dimensions to each other’s characters.  
> I like the tension that borders between cruelty and tenderness between them. I don’t know why. Don’t ask me why I like them. I just do. (Me and my unconventional pairings! Sheesh!)


	5. Sesshomaru and Rin - magic sprinkles.

** Disclaimer: Rumiko Takahashi owns this title, but the fairy tale is mine. ^^v **   
  
  
“Ha-choo~!” Sneezed the little girl as she slept on the grass.  
As she rubbed her nose, she quietly heard the footsteps of someone’s feet softly touching the green grass. With sleepy eyes, she forced herself to get up, trying to blink as much as possible.  
  
“Sesshoumaru-sama~!” the girl shouted in a low whisper with a tone that conveyed much anxiety behind it.  
Maybe it was because it was nighttime, shadows, or other things that caused little children to become afraid of the dark, but her eyes seemed quite different.  
  
The handsome, white-haired youkai quietly cursed himself inside of his head. The reason why he was leaving in the middle of the night was so that he wouldn’t have to deal with the cute little girl giving him her smile each time he went away. That girl had done something quite wrong to him because he had always done as he pleased.  
And now, why did he have some inkling of guilt in which he had to report back when he was so used to going and coming as he pleased? Nonetheless, instead of leaving at any time as he had done with Jaken, he now found himself unable to face the little girl’s hopeful face every time he left.   
She was very sweet that way. The little girl he had found was kind to a youkai like him.  
And there was a time in his life in which he didn’t even trust himself…  
  
The same youkai who had held a deep grudge against his own half-brother for many reasons, but most of all, for loving someone from the species called “human”.  
  
He closed his eyes a bit, but then, they opened to their original shape, unfeeling and calm. Turning around with the moon shining behind him, his clothes gracefully flowed with the wind as the little girl got to her feet and ran after him.  
She grabbed onto his clothing and closed her eyes. At touching him, she became a bit relieved.  
  
“Yes, Rin?” he asked as he looked down at the top of her head because she was still burying her face into his clothing.  
He didn’t like weaklings and he had taught her at least not to be like this whenever he left. But when she ran towards him, there was a fear in her eyes that forced him to delay to wherever he needed to go. This wasn’t the face of a little girl who was scared of the dark.  
  
It was the alarmed face of a person who was in pain.  
  
Rin’s tiny fingers crunched his clothing and it tugged somewhat into his heart. When she finally looked up at him, there were tears in her eyes. “Rin had a bad dream~! She dreamt that Sesshoumaru-sama and Jaken-sama left her!”  
  
That was all that she could say, but her eyes conveyed so much more.  
Sesshoumaru had recognized these types of eyes, but he was never moved by them. He was so unemotional towards this look that he could have been looking at grass crunch under his feet and thought nothing of it.  
Humans didn’t matter.  
  
So what was this in front of him? Rin.  
Only his dear Rin…  
  
And damn, because of that alone, he was a bit pained.  
  
He found himself touching the top of her head gently. Looking down at her, he sighed, not really knowing what to do for he had never taken care of children.  
He never needed to.  
  
“Please don’t go yet, Sesshoumaru-sama,” Rin told him with her pleading eyes. “Stay with me until I can forget that dream.”  
  
He looked deeply into her eyes as they told him, “Tell me that that dream isn’t true!”  
  
Closing his eyes a bit, he couldn’t believe what he was doing. Glancing at the sleeping Jaken, he sat down in his place, wondering what the hell he was doing. Was he going crazy?  
This…this was what happened when you messed with something that wasn’t supposed to be yours in the first place…   
  
Especially in between the form of flesh and the emotion of compassion.  
  
“Come here, Rin,” he told her as he patted his lap once with the palms of his hands.  
She sat down quietly while wiping her tears away. At that moment, Sesshoumaru was amazed at how unusually natural hugging came to him. Or maybe because it was Rin? Well, he wrapped his arms around her and sighed for both of their sakes.  
  
“After I tell you this story, I’m going to leave,” he plainly told her and she nodded understandingly.  
“Yes, Sesshoumaru-sama.”  
  
The great youkai opened his mouth to begin to tell a story. It was a story he had heard from a woman in some distant village. He was passing through in the middle of the night and her bell-like voice told her children a tale, but he didn’t know if it was a myth or something she made up.  
Since he was a little tired, as much as he hated to admit it, he sat behind a tree which was outside of the house. Through the window, her voice reached him.  
He thought maybe Rin would have loved to hear this story once he got back. If only he was the right type of person to tell it. And now, he had been given the opportunity.    
  
With a calm voice, he told her:   
  
“There was once a middle-aged man who lived in the mountains. He had lived there for so long that people forgot that he even lived there.  
But every so often, there were people who went up to the mountain to prove someone lived there. He was known to be such a harsh man that he was equated to being a monster. They came and eyed him as if he were a thing rather as someone who just wanted to live away from other humans.  
He always pushed them away and shouted for the villagers to leave him alone. He didn’t need anything from them, so why wouldn’t they just leave him alone?  
  
All the years he had lived there, he made many things because he was a carpenter. But he never brought anything out of his house because he didn’t want to share anything with anyone. Because the one time he had, that person broke his heart.  
And from that day on, he swore that he wouldn’t talk to anyone ever again. He would live the rest of his life alone, quietly and peacefully.  
  
One day, there was a little girl who peeped into his window. He saw her and shouted for her to leave. But she continued to look at him as he stared at her, unable to carve anything in front of her. It was as if he had developed a fear of carving with anyone next to him. He didn’t know why, but deep inside, carving represented his heart. It said all the things he could never really say to anyone.  
She knocked on his door, but didn’t pass through the threshold. She waited for him to come and invite her in.  
  
‘Leave me alone!’ he shouted over and over again.  
He did this for many, many days. He didn’t even know how many days had already passed, but the beautiful little girl kept on coming and knocking on his door.  
Whenever he looked to see where she had gone, she was never in sight, but each morning, she came to bug him.  
  
She never came when he went fishing or looked for food. She would only appear at his house whenever he carved.  
  
Then, he got used to her coming. And when he did, she didn’t come that particular day. It was as if she knew he would miss her.  
  
He then looked out the door, waiting for her to come.  
The man sat in front of his house while looking around for the little girl. He began to carve his pieces outside of his house, out in the open wind. He didn’t want to delay his life’s work, but he didn’t want to miss her coming either.  
  
Then, two days later, the little girl came.  
She stood before him in the colorful red kimono with the goldfish obi that he had been accustomed to seeing. She smiled at him and asked, ‘Can I see what you’re doing now?’  
He held out a small fairy, which was about as tall as the span of his medium-sized hand. His face showed the pride he gave to his work. ‘I didn’t know it. But I guessed it looked like you after a while.’  
  
The little girl smiled widely at him. ‘You should share this with the villagers down south. They would love to see the pretty things you’ve made.’  
The man’s happy face became a shadow. He looked down at the ground. ‘I can’t show them. My best friend, when I showed him a piece I created, he stole it from me and pretended that he made it.’  
  
‘But you can’t live here forever,’ the little girl said as she came closer towards him, but almost as if she were saying it to herself.  
He pushed the fairy aside as she took his right hand into both of his and looked into his eyes. She continued to grin at him from ear to ear. ‘That’s why I came here. The mermaid was so beautiful. I used to watch you from your window when you made it.’  
  
He blinked at her. ‘How…how did you know?’  
She shook her head, not explaining anything at all.  
‘But when I was going to tell you, you moved away. And I looked all over for you to find you up here in the mountains. And when I saw that you were making a fairy, I was about to cry.’  
‘Why?’  
  
‘There are wars going on and people keep on praying to anyone and anything. They believe in everything else except what they used to. But then, there are still people like you that believe in us.’  
‘‘Us’?’  
  
‘I have to go now.’  
At that moment, she took off her kimono and the wind blew. She became smaller as she fluttered around him.    
She kissed his cheek and flew away.  
  
It was all too fast, though. Even though she didn’t know it, he wanted to thank her for saving him from his loneliness.  
  
‘Wait!’ he shouted when he got onto his feet. ‘What is your name?!’  
  
‘Rin. My name is Rin.’  
  
Like a small shooting star, she quickly flew away. And there were sprinkles that fell from her body.  
People thought these sprinkles were the stars that came up when the moon awoke and appeared in the sky. That’s why people learned to make wishes.”  
  
When he was done, he looked down to ask Rin if maybe she was named after this particular story. But she, who was in a deep sleep, cuddled on his lap and smiled to herself as she hugged her Sesshoumaru-sama.  
A light smile came onto his face.  
  
“Maybe I’ll tell you the rest later, Rin.” He held her a bit longer and then he carried her and put her back in her place on the ground where she was originally sleeping.  
  
He looked down at her and then turned away to leave.  
  
In his mind, he thought,  
  
“Your fear is me leaving you, but my fear is letting you go…  
…letting you go after the wish is done.  
  
I didn’t know I made this wish until you came.”  
  
  
 **Owari. / The End.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yui has been on major writer’s block for a whole week. I don’t know what’s going on, but I’m glad I thought of something to write. * fears of losing her touch *  
> To tell the truth, I’ve had this idea of Sesshoumaru telling Rin a story. I know Sesshoumaru’s really oc here, but I wanted something sappy. * hee *


End file.
